Paralyzed- A Flash FanFic
by ifeellikeiamamidget
Summary: Barry had just watched his father’s death. The show never actually made any effort to show how Barry was handling the death AFTER he chased Zoom so i cut that part completely out of the equation and here is my version on what should’ve happened episode 2x22 and 2x23
1. Chapter1

**I DO NOT OWN THE FLASH NOR DO I OWN THE ARROW, NONE OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS BOOK ARE MINE AND THAT'S A FACT. **

Happiness. That's all that coursed throughout Barry's body. For once, something was being handed to him, the chance to finally have a relationship with the girl he had been pining over for the last 12 consecutive years. The feelings that had never been reciprocated had finally come back. Surely nothing could ruin this night? His father was returning permanently, he had all the people he loved in one room, his _family _was finally together in one room.

All he could do was smile, today had his spirits on a all time high, they had gained a win against Zoom, everything in his life finally seemed to be heading in a _good _direction.

_But then the hurricane hit.._

"Cisco, What is it?" He asked, noticing Cisco change from being hungry to not moving from his spot. He felt all the eyes in the room land on him, making him shift from being uncomfortable.

"I saw- Earth 2 melting away, by some purple substance" he stuttered, no-one had decided to fill the newest resident to the West-Allen household on their secrets. _Barry's Secrets._

"What do you mean? There's another Earth?" Wally asked, his head darting around from Cisco, to Barry, to Caitlin and then finally landing on his sister, Iris.

Just then, Zoom sped in, grabbing Henry Allen, Barry's father. Barry's body coursed with anger, he was _pissed_. He has _killed _Zoom, everyone knew that so how was he back and currently using Barry's father to get a reaction from him?

"_Looks like our story continues, Flash_" His voice sent shivers down Caitlin's spine, she had just been rescued from him, she didn't need to see her captor just yet.

Then, in the blink of an eye, Henry and Zoom had vanished, with a pissed Barry trailing not that far behind them.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH**

Somehow, Barry had managed to get changed into his Flash outfit and still manage to trail not that far behind from Zoom. Well, probably because his father's life was fuelling his rage but either way, it was still an impressive speed he was running at.

Barry's breathing has faltered the second he stepped foot into his old house, all the memories he had there came rushing back to him, almost making him feel claustrophobic from the tight feeling he had building up in his chest.

"Dad" he called, walking into the living room, feeling more nostalgic vibes but the only difference this time was what memories were flooding back to him.

"What's the matter there, _Bear_?, "Jay growled, mocking the nickname given to him by Joe, "feeling a bit _overwhelmed_?"

"Take me. Kill me!" He begged, he had tears building up in his eyes, he couldn't let his father die, he couldn't lose the last person who kept him from going unstable. Henry Allen was the only other person in Barry's life worth fighting for, the other person was Iris.

"You still won't believe me that you and me are the same" Jay sneered, watching as Barry let the tears start to freely fall down his face.

"Barry, look at me, Son" Henry pleaded, knowing his time was limited. He knew he would never get the chance to say how much he loved Barry again and how proud of him he was.

"No matter what happens, you've made me the proudest father" Barry couldn't keep himself together, no matter how hard he tried, he knew what was going to happen, he just wasn't prepared. Jay's face had contorted from the comments, he felt himself be affected from knowing that Barry had a family who _loved _him. His family had been killed and now, it was Barry's turn to witness his family torn apart.

"JAY NO!" Barry cried, watching as Jay phased his hand right through Henry's heart. Barry felt his entire world come crumbling down..

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH**

"What's taking Allen so long?" Harry Wells complained, this would be the second time he had checked his watch since Barry had sped off after Zoom.

"Well, maybe if his vitals hadn't of been disconnected from his suit then maybe we'd be able to find out if he was alive or not!" Cisco snapped, fiddling with his phone which had all of the schematics for Barry's suit loaded on it.

"Henry's not answering his phone" Doctor McGee said sadly, walking back into the dining room after attempting to call Henry.

"Cisco, can't you just track Barry's suit?!" Joe snapped, wondering what was happening to his foster son and Barry's dad.

"Whatever Zoom's doing is messing up with the signal. I can't get a trace anywhere" he replied, sighing.

"So you're telling me, a detective from the CCPD. That, there is absolutely NO WAY OF TRACKING WHERE MY FOSTER SON IS?" Joe yelled, slamming his fists down on the wooden table.

Cisco bit in a yelp and nodded, scared of what Joe would do if he didn't tell him the truth.

"Track. Barry's. Phone" Wells said, as if a switch had gone off in his small mind. Cisco's face lit up immediately, although it was a simple thing to do, he hadn't even thought that it would be possible to do if he couldn't get the frequency correct the first time he tried to.

"Caitlin. Call Felicity, Oliver and the others, Allen will need their support either way." Harry said, motioning for Caitlin to go do that now.

"We've got something!" Cisco exclaimed, smiling widely as the satalite tracked down Barry's exact location. His smile quickly vanished and his face paled, he knew where they were.. he knew what horror Barry most likely had to witness.

"Where is he, Cisco?" Joe yelled, he _needed _to know where Barry was. He needed that sense of relief that Barry was okay.

"Um.. at.. at his old house" his voice wavered, quieting towards the end.

Joe was straight out of the door, with a concerned Iris following behind. They needed Barry home, at their _home_.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

Tears poured out of Barry's eyes. His father had just lost his heart to man who never had a heart to begin with.

"Dad. Stay with me please" he broken voice sounded so rough in the house but it broke the suffocating silence.

"Slugger.. your mom and I love.." Henry started, taking his final breath, not finishing his sentence.

"Looks like you're never going to find out what they love, _Slugger"_ Jay laughed, bending down to the pair on the floor. Barry wanted to kill him. No-one. Calls. Him. Slugger.

"You're almost ready, Barry, you just need to channel the anger you feel" Jay exclaimed, crouching down next to the pair.

The sound of doors slamming alarmed Jay, making him speed off, but not the shaken twenty-five year old on the floor. He was too focused on his father's lifeless body then anything else in the room.

"BARRY!" Joe yelled as he stormed through the house, not expecting what he would find. There, he saw his _son_, holding his father in a pool of his own blood.

"Bear.." he started, approaching the speedster with caution, incase he startled him.

When he noticed no change in Barry's position, he knelt down next to him, pulling Barry into his chest. He felt his shirt soak with the fresh tears.

"Joe. I can't leave him!" Barry cried, starting to resist Joe's hold but it didn't work. All that happened was Barry starting to lose energy from fighting against Joe, he wanted to just disappear but couldn't as he was getting pinned down on this earth by his foster dad.

"Bear.. just breathe. Can you do that for me?" Barry's breathing was becoming an issue, he saw how pale Barry was and knew that him not breathing properly would cause even more pain then what he was already feeling.

"Joe.. I CANT LEAVE HIM! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" Barry yelled, attempting to wriggle free from Joe's hold but it was just too strong, making Barry even more frustrated.

Iris has completely broken down into tears, her _best friend_ was hurting and not even Joe could do anything to help it. She wanted to just pull him into a massive hug and tell him everything would be okay and that he would be okay but she couldn't, she couldn't bare to lie to him at a time like this.

"Let's get him back to STAR Labs. I doubt he'll feel safe back at home." Iris said, she knew how Barry's mind worked better then he did and knew that he wouldn't want to stay at home when he felt like he could be in danger. He didn't want to risk other people's lives.

Joe had gotten nervous about how limp Barry was in his arms but was glad he was no longer resisting. He picked Barry up and carried him to the car, he knew that Barry's legs were shaking much like his entire body was.

"I'll call Caitlin and let her know about what happened" Joe said as he pulled out his phone, he had laid Barry's head down in his lap and wanted Iris to drive.

As he rubbed small, comforting circles into Barry's shoulder he dialed Caitlin, knowing how tough this phone call was about to be.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

Caitlin had returned from her phone call with Felicity to notice both Iris and Joe's presences not there. Of course she was worried but then realised they had gone to bring Barry and hopefully Henry home.

"Do you think Henry's alive?" Wally asked, he had his head in his hands, he was trying to absorb so much information in but it just wasn't working.

"I hope so.. if not, we've got to help Barry" Cisco answered, feeling nerves make a pit in the bottom of his stomach.

Just as he said that, Caitlin's phone brought everyone out of their daze and immediately alerted them all. She held her breath as she read the name.. _Joe West_. This was about to address the major elephant in the room; _was Henry Allen alive_?

"Joe. Are you with Barry?" She immediately asked, hopefully there was some good news about to follow her question.

"_Yes. I'm with Barry but—_" Joe started, being cut off by Caitlin, "—but.. Henry is dead.."

She knew Joe had nodded and felt tears stream down her face.

"_We're going to STAR Labs. Barry's gone into shock and isn't responding anymore._" Joe summed up, ending the phone call abruptly.

She slowly pulled her phone away from her ear. She knew everyone else knew that Henry was dead.. she could tell from the tears sliding down Jesse's and Dr McGee's cheeks and how Cisco, Wally and Harry were all bowing their heads and sighing very loudly.

"We need to go to STAR Labs"


	2. Chapter2

When Caitlin, Cisco, Wells, Jesse and Wally all arrived at STAR Labs, they were expecting to see Barry in tears and yelling but instead they were met with a tearful Iris, a worried Joe and a silent, unresponsive Barry.

"Bear.. you okay?" Joe asked again, rubbing Barry's side just like he had done in the car. He had laid Barry down on the medical bed with his head lying in his lap again. All Barry did was stare forward, his breathing had returned to normal but Barry's mind had just gone into a complete shutdown.

"Iris. How is he?" Jesse asked, giving Iris a long hug. She shook her head and moved out of the way, revealing the Barry Allen they were all worried about. Caitlin immediately rushed over, being a doctor and all they allowed her to, she knew how to help patients in shock so hopefully she'd be able to help Barry escape his little daze.

"How long has he been like this for?" Caitlin asked, grabbing a shock blanket and wrapping it around Barry, who remained motionless from the touch.

"He's been like this since the car ride" Joe answered, looking at Caitlin through wet eyes.

"Make sure he tries to get some sleep. He needs it" she said, rubbing Barry's leg.

If this were 14 years ago, then he would've done everything in his power to make sure that the little 11 year old was safe and that he would be okay but now that Barry has experienced the death of his father after only just getting over his mothers, especially when it was in the same place his mother had died, he knew Barry wouldn't recover just yet. It was too soon for him to even picture Barry changing from this position.

"Also, Joe," Caitlin, said, bringing Joe out of this thoughts, "change him into some sweats. It will be more comfortable"

Nodding, he stood up and sat Barry up.

"Bear.. look at me" Joe whispered, using two fingers to lift Barry's chin up to face him, "it will all be okay. I promise you and I will do everything in my power to make sure this stays hidden from the media"

Since this entire mess started, hearing that made a really small smile appear on Barry's face. It was almost un-noticeable.

Barry hadn't even noticed how he had changed from his flash suit into sweats but he didn't care, all he could remember was his father crumbling down in front of him.

**ARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROW**

It was exactly _19:59 pm _when Felicity got the call. The call which made her heart break. All of team Arrow were in their cortex, going over how today was for each of them.

"You okay, Felicity? You look a bit pale" Oliver said, noticing how pale Felicity had turned.

"Um.. Caitlin just called." She started, trying to hold herself together.

"Caitlin as in, Team Flash, Caitlin" Thea asked, confused on why they were calling at this time of night.

Felicity nodded, not knowing if she could continue or not.

"What did they want?" Diggle asked, noticing how no-one else was bothering to ask further questions.

"They-they wanted to let us know that Hunter Zolomon just killed Barry's father.." Felicity then broke, tears came speeding down her face and Oliver was the first to pull his phone out; to try and call Barry.

"He's not answering. It goes straight to voicemail, just like Cisco's number does" Oliver complained, he knew that he couldn't leave Starling City undefended but he wanted to go and see Barry.

"That's it. Let's go down to Central City. I need to see Barry" Oliver demanded, already heading to go get changed into his Vigilante outfit.

They all got ready for the long trip ahead; they knew that it was worth it. All _6 hours _of it.

**ARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROW**

It had been a couple hours since Barry had watched his father's death, it had been a couple hours since his brain decided to have an emotional shut down. Joe was still with him but this time, he had laid Barry on his chest and held him, knowing that if he felt safe then maybe just maybe, he'd be able to put his mind at ease for the time being.

"Bear.. it's okay.. you're _okay_" Joe said, rubbing Barry's head. He felt Barry's breathing start to pick up again and knew that it was due to a nightmare, god he had, had several so far and he wasn't even asleep!

"Hey.. how is Allen?" Harry Wells asked, approaching the pair who were lying down on the medical bed.

"He seems to be getting worse. He can't sleep, he hasn't said _a word _since we left his house. This has truly haunted him" Joe explained, sighing at the young man in his arms.

Harry came and sat at the end of the bed, rubbing his hand up and down Barry's leg. He didn't deserve it; all he had done was protect the people of Central City, all he had done was be a hero but apparently god decided to punish him.

"Team Arrow are on their way. Apparently Mr Queen had demanded to come and see Allen, I'm guessing to make sure he is okay" Wells said, looking up at Joe who had changed how he was laying. Instead of his entire back lying down, he had changed to him sitting up with his back against the wall and Barry resting entirely on his chest.

"How are you, Joe?," Joe looked up, no-one had bothered to ask how _he _felt about this entire situation, "how has this affected you?"

"I'm worried.. about Barry. He had just finally gotten over his mother's death, he had finally been given a little light in his life by his dad deciding to stay here but then it was taken away from him," Joe started, "Barry lost his mother in the exact same room, Harry, the exact same room where Eobard Thawne had murdered his mom in front of him. He had been so scared when he was younger, he seemed like he could break but he never did. He couldn't stop thinking about it but now his father's dead, it's rattled him, it's going to eat away at him and I'm scared on what that could mean"

Joe felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his chest, he had tried to keep it in because he wanted to remain strong for Barry but if anything, opening up to Harry had made him feel a lot stronger.

"He's a fighter. He'll be okay, we'll all make sure of it" Harry reassured, during their chat, neither of them had noticed how Barry had started to respond again, he remained still though, he wanted to continue listening to their conversation.

"J-Joe?" Barry stuttered, feeling his body start to shake. He was immediately wrapped in warm arms, calming him down almost instantly. The blanket was soon removed, leaving Barry exposed to the cold, winter air which was somehow being merged with the Med Bay air.

"Bear.. you're okay, just breathe" Joe said, watching as Barry's eyes fluttered shut, he ran his warm hand up underneath Barry's sweatshirt, lightly pressing his hand on the area where Zoom had snapped it a couple months ago.

"My dad.. J-Joe. Z-zoom.. he-he" Barry stuttered, his body racking with each shaky sob he made.

"It's okay.. shush.. it's okay.." Joe said, pulling Barry closer to him, all he wanted to do was take this pain away from him, that's all he wanted to do.

"I'm going to let you two talk" Harry whispered, silently leaving the room.

"Joe.. he-he wanted me to be like him.. he wanted me to feel his anger" Barry cried, pulling away from Joe slightly to look up at him.

"He called me _slugger_, Joe.. after my dad said his final words.. Jay.. he-he called me slugger" and Joe's heart broke even more, Hunter/Joe/ whoever the fuck he was just hurt Barry in the worst way possible, and he was bound to pay.

Barry had tears pouring down his face.. he felt like he couldn't breathe, as if the entire room was restricting the oxygen supply in there. He felt himself go dizzy, everything around him started to go in slow motion and each voice sounded like an echo to him.

"Barry?!" Joe called, noticing how Barry's breathing has escalated into him hyperventilating.

"CAITLIN!" Joe yelled, he didn't want to move from his spot, especially with Barry acting like this.

Within seconds, Caitlin had rushed in, followed by Iris, Harry, Wally, Cisco and Jesse, they were all really worried about Barry.

"Barry?" Caitlin asked, sitting him up right, grabbing into his shoulders to try and stop him from shaking.

"What's the matter?" She asked, looking towards Joe.

"C-can't breathe.. room closing in" Barry muttered, darting his head towards the walls just to make sure they weren't really collapsing on him.

"Bar, focus on me. Look at me." Caitlin insisted, trying to stop his head from spinning. Everyone else had left so it was just Caitlin and Barry. Joe needed to let Barry relax, he needed to.

"Barry.. you need to take deeper breaths. You're bringing in too much oxygen" Cailitin said strictly, trying to help Barry calm down.

"How-how do I get the room to stop spinning?" He grumbled, his head being lightheaded and all made him have a terrible headache.

"Take deeper breaths." She repeated, moving her hands into his, holding them lightly. Nodding, he finally started attempting to slow his breathing down, and of course he felt better after listening to Caitlin. God knows what would happen without her around.

**ARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROWARROW **

"How far out are we from Central City?" Oliver asked through the Comm set. He was so anxious on seeing how Barry was, he just wanted to know the kid was okay and that he didn't blame himself for it at all.

"We're still a couple minutes out" Felicity replied, both her and Thea we driving in the car whilst Diggle and Oliver had begged to ride their motorbikes.

"Can we go just a little bit faster?" Oliver complained, he hated having to wait just a little bit longer to see Barry. He just really wanted to see him.

"You can go ahead if you want, Ollie. We know the way to STAR Labs" Felicity finally said, knowing how annoying it was for him having to wait whilst he had the capability of speeding off if he truly wanted to.


	3. Chapter3

_"MOM!" Eleven year old Barry yelled, he had just walked down the stairs after being woken up by some disruption._

_What he saw wasn't anything ordinary. It seemed as if the impossible was possible at that very moment._

_Barry watched as these two colours of light constantly battled each other, the red being more overpowering then the yellow one. They were circling his mom when Henry Allen ran in, trying to keep Barry away from what was happening._

_Suddenly, he had been whizzed from the house to the bottom of the street, it was all becoming more and more crazy by the second. Barry had no idea what was happening, he didn't even know whether his mum was alive or not. _

_He ran as fast as his little legs could carry him, they carried him all the way to his house which was now full of CCPD officers and CSI's. Barry watched with eyes full of tears as they dragged his dad out of the house, his arms cuffed behind his back. Something clicked in his head, what had happened to his mom if his dad was getting arrested? _

_Barry cautiously entered the house, unaware that the man in the yellow suit had vanished. 'Mom' Barry wanted to so desperately yell, he wanted to just scream his moms name until she came but he knew that something had happened. _

_The living room was shut off with some yellow 'Caution' tape, labelling it a crime scene in the young kid's eyes. Seeing as he was small enough to fit through, he snuck underneath it, crawling to where the body bag laid on the floor. He felt an arm placed on his shoulder as he lifted the cover up, revealing his mom, who was very much dead, she had taken a stab to the heart.._

"Barry?" Cisco asked, he had been noticing Barry's breathing start to pick up and how restless he had become.

Barry jolted up, feeling himself out of breath, tired and confused.

"Hey, hey.. you okay?" Cisco asked as he brought his arm and placed it around Barry's shoulders. Nodding, Barry took one huge deep breath, wiping the sweat away from his forehead.

"You wanna talk about what that was about? It seemed to have really spooked you." He said, sitting at the edge of the medical bed.

At times like these, Barry was thankful that he was allowed to not be greeted by 8 different people, he was glad that it was only him and Cisco down in the Med Bay, he was glad that Iris didn't have to see him _vulnerable _anymore.

"Where-where is everyone else?" Barry asked inbetween breaths.

"They are all upstairs with Felicity, Thea, Oliver and Diggle. They said that when you were awake they would come down to see you" He informed Barry, sighing at the end.

"Some night this turned into" Barry muttered, standing up and stretching. His back clicked and it felt good, he had cooped himself in that position for way too long.

"How you feelin?" Cisco asked, stepping in front of the scarlet speedster, wanting to know what was with the sudden change of heart from being broken to then acting as if nothing had happened.

"Well.. I-I.." Barry started, feeling tears well up in his eyes.

"Go back to sleep, you really need it." Cisco ordered, shutting the door, trying to force Barry to remain in the room.

"I wanna go and—" Barry started, "and see Oliver and everyone. But how about I tell them that you're awake and that you want to see them?" Cisco offered, he really didn't want to get on Caitlin's bad side— especially if she could have Killer Frost rip his head off.

Barry nodded, sliding back into the bed, shutting his eyes, trying not to let the drowsiness take over. He knew Cisco had left, he knew that in a couple of seconds he would be answering the questions from all of Team Arrow but for the moment he was alone, he felt truly like no-one really cared for him. He had never felt so empty about that before, not even after his mom's death.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

After Barry's little ordeal, Cisco volunteered to go and stay with Barry, he knew Joe needed a small break to check in with Iris.

"Where's Barry?" Oliver yelled, walking into the middle of the cortex, he and Team Areow had just arrived and it was safe to say he was only a tiny bit worried about Barry.

"We just got him to fall asleep, he had a panic attack a couple of minutes ago" Joe informed, taking his hand and dragging it down his face.

Oliver's eyes went wide, he hadn't been told about that and he doubted that Felicity knew anything of it. Why didn't they call him during it? He's had plenty, he would've known how to help.

"Where's everyone else?" Caitlin asked, taking her Doctor's coat off.

"They are all still on their way. I kinda sped off when we reached the outskirts of Central City" Oliver explained, crossing his arms.

"How-how is he?" He stuttered, he hadn't usually been one to ask how Barry was during times of a loss but this was different, this one was close to home.

"He's been in and out of shock, hasn't eaten, only just decided to try and speak again and had a panic attack" Harry summed up, he knew that Cisco could hear what they were talking about and knew that if they were any louder then they'd wake Barry up.

"How about we all go and talk in the main area, we run the risk of awaking Mr Allen" he said, leading them all out of the room.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

When Cisco returned to the Med Bay, he was followed shortly by a concerned Oliver Queen and a certain small, blonde haired woman who was also worried about Barry.

His eyes may have been shut but he knew who just entered, he could tell without even having to open his eyes.

When Cisco had informed them that he was awake Oliver had jumped at the idea, everyone else had agreed for him to go and see him, but they also asked if Felicity would go with him.

"How you feeling?" Oliver asked quietly, sitting at the edge of the bed.

"I dunno.. it's-it's all just.." Barry led off, taking a deep breath and opening his eyes to meet their concerned ones.

"We will catch Zoom, Bar.. we'll help you catch the man who is putting you through this" Felicity said, walking towards Barry and putting her hands through his hair comfortingly.

Nodding, Barry took his eyes away from the three other people in the room and fount his, now clean hands, more interesting.

"Iris cleaned you up after Joe changed you into the sweats. You didn't even notice she was doing it apparently" Cisco added, making Barry nod again.

Oliver looked at him, taking in his appearance. Zoom had made his life crumble in front of him, he knew that Barry had just came off of a high, he was truly happy but it was all just snatched from him. Usually, the saying Karma's a bitch would've made sense in any other scenario but it just made no sense, they saved the city, yet, it felt as if Barry had just lost.

"We'll leave you two to talk" Felicity said to Oliver whilst both her and Cisco left the room, bidding a farewell to the grieving speedster.

"Barry. Can you look at me please" Oliver asked, positioning his body so he was sitting cross-legged at the end of Barry's bed.

"What do you want, Ollie?" Barry snapped, having enough of everyone asking him whether he was okay or not and to look at them.

Of course he's not fucking okay. Of course he wouldn't want to look at you, he feels safer staying out of the gazes, why didn't people understand what was going on inside his head?

"Barry," Oliver demanded, "I know how it feels to lose a parent.."

Barry remained silent, "you know I do. You know I watched my father shoot himself in the head so I could survive, heck, he even killed this other person so I could survive. Don't you dare start giving me the cold shoulder, especially when I know what you're going through better then anyone else upstairs"

Barry had tears escape his eyes, he had never heard Oliver Queen talk like that, with so much anger and strength since the day he became the Flash.

"Just let me help you" and then Barry broke down into tears. As much as Oliver wasn't a hugger, he knew that Barry needed it. So, he pulled the young man into his arms and just comforted him whilst he let all his emotions out.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH**

"What are we going to do with Henry's body?" Diggle asked, knowing that they hadn't even bothered to call CCPD yet.

"I'll call Singh now.. I'll tell him about it all, I mean he already knows Barry's the Flash so I can tell him everything" Joe explained, sighing as he pulled out his phone and dialed Captain Singh's number.

"Hello, Captain Singh. It's Detective West, look, I was wondering if you'd be able to meet me at Barry's old house from when he was eleven in maybe ten to twenty minutes?" Joe asked, the room being eerie silent.

"I know you're most likely confused but I'll explain it on the way, and can you please not mention this to anyone?" He said, ending the call and grabbing his jacket, ready to go face the music once more.

"Tell Barry that I've gone to sort some things out at the Precinct" Joe said, leaving the room in total silence.

They all remained in silence until an alarm from a security breach had blared through the entire building, obviously alerting not only all of the meta-humans they had stowed in the pipeline but Barry also.


	4. Chapter4

Barry and Oliver were calmly enjoying their hug when suddenly the alarms went off, causing them both to become confused.

"What's that about?" Oliver asked, pulling away from their hug.

"I dunno, let's head upstairs and find out" Barry answered, standing up and grabbing Oliver's arm so he could speed them upstairs.

"Going somewhere are we boys?" A voice sneered, shooting something at the pair.

Barry's world had started to spin, he felt himself become increasingly dizzy and knew his legs couldn't continue. He dropped to the floor, eyes shut, his entire world disappearing into the dark abyss.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH**

Cisco, Caitlin, Diggle, Felicty, Iris, Jesse and Harry all rushed into the Med Bay to find it completely empty, no trace of either Oliver or Barry.

"BARRY? OLIVER?" Harry called, seeing as he had kept a loaded gun with him, he armed himself and positioned himself in front of everyone else to protect them.

"Where are they?" Iris asked, feeling tears well up in her eyes. What if what happened to Henry was going to happen to Oliver? Barry wouldn't be able to live with that guilt.

"CISCO!, WE'RE TRAPPED IN THE PIPELINE" A voice yelled, they couldn't see who it was but they took a random guess at it.

"Oliver?!" Cisco called back, everyone's eyes darting across the empty room.

"Harry, stay here with everyone else. Caitlin and I will go get them" Cisco said, rushing towards the pipeline with Caitlin shortly behind him.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

Oliver and Barry stood at opposite ends of the cell, both staring forward.

"Can't you just phase us through this?" Oliver asked, knowing that he had a new ability of phasing through solid objects.

"I think the power dampener is on. I can't vibrate my hand" Barry sighed, leaving against the wall behind him and slid down it.

"No time for sitting down, _Flash_" the voice said, the same voice that Barry had heard earlier before everything went black.

"Now.. I have brought you both a visitor." The voice said again, but this time revealing who it was. _Eobard Thawne.._

"I thought you were dead.. you vanished in front of me. Remember?" Barry yelled, punching the glass.

"Ah.. Mr Queen" Eobard sneered, making Oliver tense.

"About time they woke up. I was getting bored waiting for them to" _Zoom _said, entering the picture.

Barry stared at the two people in front of him. Wait, not people, just _monsters_. Monsters who were going to pay.

"What's the matter, Barry? You having some flashbacks" Eobard laughed, making his eyes glow a crimson red. It drew Barry in, like something was pulling him towards the redness.

Oliver was just as confused as Jay/Hunter was. He knew to what extent the Reverse Flash's powers went to but after watching how Barry had immediately became drawn to them had scared him. He watched as Barry's head contorted in fear, he hated it, Jay, however, loved seeing Barry in emotional pain.

"Well, I've got to go make sure your visitor is ready" Jay laughed, speeding away.

Barry's mind was replaying the events from when his mother died to when his father died. It made Barry lose his composure, making him mumble things with tears streaming down his face. All Oliver could do was watch. Watch as the twenty-five year old was breaking down in front of him whilst being absorbed into Eobard's eyes.

"Barry?" Oliver asked once Eobard had vanished, it was completely random as to where he went but that didn't matter to Oliver. He needed Barry back.

"Barry?" Oliver called again, standing in front of Barry.

Suddenly, Barry collapsed to his knees, his hands covering his mouth. He didn't want Oliver to hear how badly those memories had hurt him, especially in a mental way.

It's all Barry could think about, the death of his mother and father only inches between the two final resting places of either one.

_"Mom.. it's me.. it's Barry" Barry cried. He couldn't save her. He couldn't save his mom from Harrison Wells and now he was left to watch his mom slowly bleed to death in front of him whilst his father remained motionless._

_"My beautiful boy" Nora said, holding onto one of Barry's arms whilst he held her head onto his lap._

_"Me and dad are okay" he chocked out, tears streaming down his face at full speed. _

_"Mom.. I-I love you" he cried, his face was turning red slightly from it all. _

_"I love you.." she whispered, taking her final breath. _

_Barry leaned forward, pressing his head onto his Mom's chest. His heart ached from the movement of his chest. He held her for a couple more seconds before gently placing her head back onto the floor and he stood up, not bothering to wipe his tears away. Instead, he took off back into the wormhole, preparing to do something daring._

"Bear.. what's going on?" Oliver asked as Barry's tears never stopped and how he had put all of his body weight onto Oliver.

"Barry?" All the words seemed like an echo to Barry. Whatever the Reverse Flash did, it made everything around him seem really fragile, including himself.

_"Dad!" Barry called, entering his old home. The home where it made his blood run cold after the murder of his mother._

_Barry saw where Jay was holding his father. The same room where he lost his mother. The thoughts he had from when he lost his mom came back to attack him. He couldn't let them win though, for his dad's sake. _

_"What's the matter there, _Bear_" Jay growled, making Barry feel frozen._

_"Take me! Kill me!" Barry pleaded, he had tears falling down his face, he couldn't lose his dad. He just couldn't. _

_"You still don't believe me that you and me are the same" Jay sneered, smiling as he saw the Scarlet Speedster start to lose hope._

_"Barry, look at me, son" his father pleaded, he knew his time was limited but he just wanted to so badly ramble on about how later they could watch the super bowl and that Jay wasn't going to actually kill him but he knew that wouldn't happen. He needed to make the most of out the moment, right?_

_"No matter what happens, you have made me the proudest father" he watched his son with his own tears forming, this would be the last time he spoke to Barry. The last time he got to see his son. Barry had completely broken down, he didn't want his dad to die, but there was simply nothing he could do to prevent it._

_"JAY NO!" Barry screamed as Henry felt his heart get ripped out of his chest. He fell to his knees, knowing that it was over for him. Barry had rushed to him, he never stopped crying. _

"Kid.." Oliver asked, this was the eighth time he had tried talking to Barry. His initial reaction to Barry being unresponsive was that he had slipped back into some sort of shock but a small part of his brain was telling him otherwise.

"Oliver" Barry cried, gripping onto Oliver as if he was his lifeline.

"Yea.. it's me, Kid. What happened?" Oliver asked, tightly wrapping his arms around Barry and holding him close, keeping him safe.

"He-he.. he made me relive my mom's death," Barry cried, "and-and then he showed my dad's death"

Oliver's heart ached for Barry, this was too much for Barry to take on, it would make him want to let it all out in more ways then one.

"Ah.. it's good to see that he's finally calmed down now" Eobard said as he returned, making Barry flinch in Oliver's hold.

"Stand up!" Jay commanded, bringing their _visitor _into Oliver's view.

They both stood up, Oliver in front of Barry slightly, he wanted to protect him through it all.

As Jay pried the mask off of the man's face, Barry had recognised him, he was the man who helped Jesse and him when they were captured by Zoom.

"Everyone.. say hello to the _Real Jay Garrick_"


	5. Chapter5

"Everyone say hello to the _real Jay Garrick_" Barry's blood ran cold. That man looked exactly like his father, his father who was now deceased from the man who had held Jay captive.

"Hunter, let him go! You want my speed? Let me out and I'll give it to you!" Barry yelled, moving in front of Oliver, standing aggressively at the glass that separated him and the two evil speedsters.

"Now, I've already taken that once, what's the fun in doing it again? The only upside would be us rendering the city unprotected" Hunter explained, laughing as he grabbed Jay into the same position he held Henry only hours ago.

"Where are the others?" Oliver demanded, grabbing Barry's arm.

"Well, you're currently sitting in Flashtime, Mr Queen" Eobard said, folding his arms and moving closer to the glass window.

"What's Flashtime?" He asked, turning towards Barry who was too focused on staring directly at Eobard.

"You're moving at the same speed as us. Everyone would just be reacting to the alarm right about now." Hunter added, tightening his grip on the older man.

"Now.. _Slugger_.. wouldn't it be such a shame to lose your father and his doppelgänger with only hours between?" Hunter laughed, slowly pulling back his right arm.

"Hunter please don't do this! I know you have a heart! You managed to show Caitlin it, what would she think to this?" Barry pleaded, he felt the exact same way he did only hours ago when his father was being held in this position.

Hunter never listened, instead, he used his arm, which had just started to vibrate, and used it to slice through Jay's abdomen, making Barry scream and try to get out of Oliver's hold.

Eobard Thawne had his eyes wide open, yes, he did indeed kill the kid's mother but he had just watched his father die by the same guy, surely Hunter knew when enough was enough, right?

"NOOOOOO!" Barry screamed, collapsing into Oliver's tight hold.

Oliver collapsed with him, keeping the speedster close to his chest.

"JAY, LOOK AT ME PLEASE" Barry cried, trying to edge closer to the glass. Oliver had loosened his hold on Barry and let him go, he couldn't speed off with the power dampener so it did no damage to let him go to Jay.

The two speedsters took off, leaving a very badly hurt Jay outside of the cell, he was slowly bleeding to death.

"CISCO! WE'RE TRAPPED IN THE PIPELINE" Oliver yelled, hoping that Flashtime had worn off.

Within seconds, Cisco and Caitlin had ran down to the pipeline, stopping short when they saw what Barry was screaming at. Immediately, Cisco had unlocked the door and was listening to Caitlin bark out orders.

Barry and Oliver remained frozen, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Was this how Barry felt when he watched his father die? Oliver thought to himself, pulling Barry into his arms once more, putting his hand on Barry's head.

Cisco returned moments later with Jesse following, a gurney inbetween the pair. They heaved Jay on and let Caitlin do her thing as they wheeled him off to the Med Bay where everyone was.

As they wheeled Jay away, Iris came running in, a worried Felicity following her. They ran to the pair and stood by their team member.

"He didn't even care that he had just killed Barry's dad.. he just wanted to hurt him.." Oliver stuttered out, tightening his grip on Barry, who was almost falling back into his shock.

"Barry?.." Iris whispered, rubbing her hands through Barry's hair.

"I can't lose him" Barry cried, pulling away from Oliver to wipe his face. Felicity's happiness was crushed when she saw how much Barry was hurting.

"He's in the hands of Caitlin, do you really think he will?" Felicity asked, rubbing circles into Oliver's shoulder.

"Joe's on his way.. he had stuff to take care of at the Precinct earlier" Iris said to Barry, they were all starting to get off of the floor.

Oliver wrapped his arm around Barry's shoulders and manoeuvred him into the Med Bay without anyone noticing them.

Joe came busting in moments later, demanding to know what the hell was going on. He saw Barry standing there, so still, so _empty _and it made his heart feel like stopping but he couldn't give Barry another person to grieve. These past 24 hours had been really touch and go, especially with Barry's mental state.

"Bear.. let's go stand outside" Joe said softly, before he had approached Barry, Oliver had warned him that there was a very high chance of him being back in shock and that just watching it all unfold in front of him was helping ease his mind.

"Let's give them some space, Caitlin needs room to work, _son_" Joe said softly again, he wrapped his arms around the younger man's body frame and gently placed his head against his own. Barry watched as Caitlin and Cisco fought to save Jay, it was all just getting too much for the scarlet speedster and he needed to leave.

"C-can we go stand outside?" Barry mumbled, biting his nails but keeping focused on what was happening to Jay. Nodding, Joe led Barry out of the room, at least he knew that Barry wasn't in shock.


	6. Chapter6

**_Warning: contains suicidal thoughts. Sorry if this is triggering for some readers._**

Barry couldn't help but feel so guilty. It was his fault for opening the singularity that Zoom was here. He was the reason for his father's death, and now he may as well be the reason for the real Jay Garrick's death.

"Bear, please stop pacing" Joe asked, stepping in front of the ancy speedster. These past 24 hours had been hard on them all, but the only person who felt it more was the Scarlet Speedster.

"It's all my fault Joe. Everything is all my fault!" Barry cried, still pacing.

"Everything is my fault Joe! If I had never gone back to save myself, my mom would still be here! It should've been me! I wish it was me!" Barry cried again, he had started to shake violently.

"It should've been me who died that night, not my mom" Barry explained, putting both his hands on either side of his neck.

"Don't you dare say that Barry. It's not your fault!" Joe exclaimed, walking over to Barry who had started to lean against the wall.

"It's always gonna be my fault! I have to live with this on my conscious. It's no-one else's burden. Just mine" Barry concluded, keeping his gaze on the floor.

"I don't wanna be here anymore" Barry broke down into tears, letting Joe comfort him.

Joe held him, he was going to hold him until he was better. It was the least he could do for the grieving young man. Hearing Barry say he didn't want to be alive anymore really hurt him, he couldn't lose Barry. Barry was the only son he had up until not that long ago, he had done everything in his power to protect him and he was going to continue doing that. If that meant staying up with him so his dark thoughts would pass then so be it.

"I-I can't be here anymore.. I-I just want it all to stop" Barry continued to cry into Joe's chest, he was letting all the emotions he had kept in since the singularity out, he had way too many bottled up emotions to dispose of.

"Bear.. shush.. nothing is ever your fault" Joe cooed, tightening his grip on Barry. Without even realising it, not only had he not noticed the tears streaming down his face but he didn't even realise that Oliver had been listening to their conversation and had tears of his own streaming down his face.

Oliver watched silently, he was just coming to terms with Jay's accident himself and now that he had finally escaped whatever he was feeling had wanted to see how Barry was coping with everything. He had heard it all. From the start to the very moment they were in.

Joe made eye contact with the vigilante, signalling for him to not mention this to the others. Nodding, Oliver wiped his eyes and went back into the bay, hoping that what he had just heard would never be mentioned again.

"J-Joe.. I-I just can't do this anymore. I can't take it anymore! Everything in these past 24 hours has hurt me and I just want this pain to go away! It should be me where my mom is! IF I HAD NEVER BECOME THE FLASH THEN THIS WOULD'VE NEVER HAPPENED! EOBARD WOULD'VE NEVER TRAVELLED BACK AND KILLED MY MOM AND MY DAD WOULD STILL BE HERE!" Barry yelled, escaping Joe's hold and heading to where the treadmill was. He was unaware that everyone had just heard him yell that, he was even more unaware of both Oliver and Joe chasing after him.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

Everyone remained dead silent, Caitlin had just stabilised Jay's vitals and now it was in his hands if he was to make it or not. They were all too shocked with what they had just heard come out of Barry's mouth. Oliver had ran out of the room, obviously worried about Barry.

"He blames himself.. for everything" Diggle said, not taking his eyes off of Jay's comatose body.

"Should we be worried?" Felicity piped up, standing up from where she was located at Cisco's computer.

"No, Oliver and Dad got this, right?" Iris questioned, looking around the room at Felicity and then at Caitlin.

"That's what we want to know. You've know him your whole life, Iris. Really, you should be telling us" Thea said, looking worriedly at the News Reporter.

Sighing, Iris crossed her arms and sat down on the nearest chair, this was hurting her head. First, Barry vanishes off into the speed force, then, she learns he's practically invincible because the speed force is with them and now the possibility of losing another speedster and Henry's doppelgänger.

Iris remembered when Barry was brought home with them, the night his mother was murdered. He seemed so frightened, like he could be hunted next. 14 years ago was the last time Iris saw Barry evidently happy, now, he only smiled and acted as if everything was alright.

"The last time I saw him this upset was the night his mom was murdered.." Iris started, "my dad brought him home. He seemed so, so not Barry. His eyes, they had lost the light behind them, but within two weeks, he had reignited it himself."

Iris laughed as she remembered Barry turning the entire house around in only two weeks.

"He has turned our entire house around. He seemed so _happy _and not like he was living with a different family" Iris said again, sighing.

Everyone looked at her, team Arrow hadn't heard about what had happened to Barry's mother and now realised what they meant about how Joe would handle it. It had happened before.

"My dad is now the closest person to a parent Barry's got" Iris started to cry, she stood up and excuses herself, walking out into the hallway.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

Oliver and Joe watched as Barry ran as fast as he could on the treadmill, it seemed to them that running was his stress relief. Whilst Oliver turned to face the other way, all Joe could remember was when Barry had given Hunter his speed, if he hadn't of done that then A) they wouldn't have Wally back but B) Hunter was now a murderer.

"Joe.. has-has Barry ever considered anything he yelled at you earlier?" Oliver asked, referring to the conversation which switched to an argument within seconds.

"After his mother was killed.. he was hit by depression, it was quite mild though. I knew he had a history with hurting himself in the past but he was over that. I knew he was getting bullied so it was probable that those thoughts came back but he never voiced them to neither Iris or I" Joe informed, turning his back to Barry.

"I'm worried about him.. he seemed like such a _good _kid. He didn't deserve what happened to have happened. Neither did Henry" Oliver sighed, turning to face Joe.

"Eobard Thawne made an appearance.. he's made an allience with Zoom" Oliver stated, showing no emotion.

"The Reverse Flash used his red eyes on Barry. They drew him in and made him relive both deaths. His mother's and then his father's following shortly afterwards" Oliver stated again.

Joe's face visually paled. The man who killed Barry's mother, teamed up with the man who killed his father with 15 years apart and a couple inches from where his mother was killed. Joe had remained silent for a couple of minutes, taking in the information he just learnt.

As Joe was about to say something, they were both sprinting into the treadmill room, to find Barry on the ground, clutching his back from where Zoom had snapped it before.

"BARRY! You okay?" Joe asked as he and Oliver started to slowly lift him off of the ground.

"Stop! My back.." Barry cried, immediately grabbing his hands back and placing them where it hurt.

"What happened?" Oliver asked, looking at the man laying on the floor in pain.

"One minute I'm fine, the next, I feel a shooting pain up my back. It starts to get difficult to breathe. I misstep, I end up flying into the wall" Barry summarised, slowly starting to sit up.

"Take a second to relax, Bear" Joe said, watching as Barry struggled to stand up.

Nodding, Barry remained on the floor, catching his breath. Suddenly, Felicity came running in, with Cisco following behind.

"What happened?!" Cisco asked, running over to Barry's side.

"My back." Barry complained, groaning as the pain started to return.

"I'll go get Caitlin, stay here!" He ordered, running back into the med bay. Instead of Caitlin arriving though, Harry did, with a wheelchair.

"Take it easy Barry, we'll stand you up and if you feel like you can walk then we'll walk you there but if you feel you can't then the wheelchair will be there" Felicity said, standing by Oliver's side.

"On three, we'll stand you up. One.. two.. three" Joe counted, grabbing some of Barry's weight and hauling him to his feet.

Barry took a deep breath, it didn't feel like he was constricted with his breathing but he still felt his breathing was slightly lauboured.

"How did you fall off of the treadmill?" Cisco asked, watching Barry.

"I-I was just running and then this pain shot up my back. It felt like it was paralysing me. I couldn't breathe and I misstepped and went flying off of the treadmill" Barry explained, taking a small step, thankful that it wasn't as painful as it was on the treadmill.

Oliver and Joe stayed a bit behind Barry, ready to catch him if his back were to seize up again. They were relived though that he could walk slightly.

"Now, just rest up before we find Zoom and the Reverse Flash. You're gonna need the rest" Oliver insisted, forgetting that no-one else other then Joe knew about Eobard's return.


	7. Chapter7

**_Warning: Self-Harm and depressing thoughts n probably suicidal thoughts as well. I will add a warning above the section for whether it will be graphic or not._**

It was the day that Barry was dreading. His father's funeral.. He felt like absolute _shit _to say the least. Ever since Jay had been admitted to the medical bay at STAR Labs, Barry had been restless, with only an hour of sleep within the two days he had decided to come home.

The sky was cloudy, not a single ray of sunlight was peaking through the dark, thunderous sky. Sighing, Barry turned away from his window, he needed a distraction from all of this darkness today anyway—even if it did seem rather fitting for the mood today.

Barry had cried all of his tears away already, there was nothing left in the tank for the speedster's tears, nothing could make him feel anything anymore; he felt numb. As much as he felt numb, there was one thing he could feel. His newly found addiction had helped him realise no matter what the particle accelerator did to his genes, he was still human, whether his DNA was changed or not.

Walking into the bathroom, Barry took a deep breath. No-one other than Barry was at the house, it seemed too good to be true. Wally was too busy at STAR Labs with Jesse, Cisco and Caitlin. Joe was at work, Harry Wells was cooped in Cisco's lab trying to secretly find a way to open another breach to Earth-2 whilst Iris was at work as well.

**_WARNING: IT WILL BE GRAPHIC SO DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU TRULY WANT TO._**

Barry glanced at his current _best-friend_. They had become quite acquainted over the past couple of days and he felt relieved that there was something to relieve the pain with which was also being sorted with by his increased healing rate.

Grabbing the razor blade, Barry stared at it longingly, knowing that either way no-one could stop him on his path of self-flagellation. He pulled the inanimate object towards his right arm and smiled as he felt his layers of skin break apart, letting his crimson blood flow freely down his scarred arm. He felt so _happy _for the first time in awhile when he did this, it made him feel like there was a way that he could survive this coming depression he had found himself in.

The cuts continued to appear, he never cut _too deep _though, he had never imagined wanting to die a painful death by cutting himself to shreads, he only imagined cutting himself to help feed his anger and sadness. The more cuts he did, the more weigh less and lightheaded he became, thankfully, his fast healing was kicking up, most of the cuts had been started to come together and become once an untouched piece of skin again.

His breathing has become a little laboured, his vision had started to blacken around the corners— he was losing quite a lot of blood.

**_YOU CAN READ NOW!_**

Barry cleaned the razor and returned it to a very noticeable spot, somehow, no-one had questioned as to why he had a razor in there, considering he barely had any stubble.

"Barry? You home?" A voice yelled, causing the scarlet speedster to catch his finger on the razor without him realising.

"Yea I'll be down in a sec!" Barry replied, cleaning his arm and finger up within seconds, sometimes he loves having his speed, it made his home life marginally easier but he still had to keep the balance between the two lives he had.

After Barry changed into a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved button up shirt, he headed downstairs to be met with quite a worried vigilante standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey, Ollie, what's up?" Barry asked nonchalantly, ignoring the look Oliver had given him.

"Look. I'm worried about you. I've only heard a small part of what happened when you were younger and how you slipped into depression and now I want you to talk to me. I will not take no as an answer, otherwise I'll shoot you with arrows again" Oliver explained, grabbing Barry's arm and dragging him into the living room, lucky enough for him he felt the kid tense from his strength, he knew his suspicions were correct the moment he felt Barry tense.

"Sit." Oliver ordered, sitting on the other side of the sofa.

As Barry sat down, he could finally feel all the dizziness catch up with him, man, he really did cut deeper then he thought. He hadn't noticed how Oliver immediately went from demanding to concerned really fast but he was glad, he didn't want to face Oliver, not especially since he probably pieced everything together.

"Barry, you feeling okay? You've gone quite pale" Oliver asked the speedster, moving closer to feel his forehead.

"Oli.." Barry slurred, his eyes already beginning to lose the fight to remain open. In fact, his entire body was losing the fight to remain conscious, his head had been sending mixed signals across his system, one minute the dizziness was hardly there and the next he felt like he could collapse at any second.

"Barry. Stay with me" Oliver pleaded, watching how Barry had started to shut his eyes.

Barry's head was pounding, his eyes were starting to droop and his body was too tired to fight off going under, he knew he was going to. Barry's eyes closed moments later, not even Oliver shaking Barry's shoulders vigorously would wake the scarlet speedster.

When Barry came to his head was like it had been trampled on and was like he had a concussion 10x worse then the normal one. Oliver had been watching him closely, monitoring his every move, making sure he didn't pass out again.

"Bar?" Oliver asked softly, he knew Barry's head would've been pounding and considering he was a speedster he knew it probably felt worse then what others would feel. Barry's eyes slowly opened, revealing a very blurry sight.

"Wat.. happ'n'd?" Barry asked, moving his head ever so slightly to face Oliver a bit better.

"You passed out.. from doing something I wish wasn't true" Oliver replied softly but with his authority still there.

"M' sorry" Barry mumbled, ready to fall into an actual sleep instead of passing out this time.

"Get some sleep Bar, it's still gonna be a couple more hours until we have to get ready, you really need it" Oliver added, grabbing a blanket and placing it on the, already asleep, young man. He knew he'd have to tell Joe, as much as he didn't want to, he knew Barry's obsession could land him in worse conditions, especially with Zoom still roaming freely.

Instead of calling Joe, Oliver had decided to text him, knowing that was the safer option out of the two and plus, he didn't run the risk of a loud noise startling Barry.

"My suspicions were right. Barry's been hurting himself" Oliver's text read, making him sigh at how the kid with the brightest smile ever known had turned into a man who had not only seen more darkness but had dealt with more darkness then anyone else his age.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

Joe sighed as he read over Oliver's text. How had he not seen the signs? Barry was sinking further into his depression and he failed to notice. Some foster father he claimed to be.

He also felt bad for constantly lying to the kid, he hadn't actually turned up to work today, in fact, he was helping Team Flash and Team Arrow track down Zoom so Barry wouldn't have to worry anymore.

"What's the matter, Joe?" Harry asked, noticing how the happy demeanour the detective held was lacking at the moment.

"Oliver was right.. there I said it. Oliver Queen was right about Barry!" Joe sighed, rubbing a hand down his face.

"We need to help him. That's not healthy" Wally said. Sure, him and Barry hadn't been close close but recently, he had grown quite fond of the Allen kid, especially since he had heard through a little bird that him and Iris were about to make themselves official.

"We will. But the first step in doing so, is removing Zoom from the equation" Cisco said, he honestly felt his heart almost stop at hearing that Oliver was right. Barry was his best friend, how did he not notice something was up with him?

"Jesse, how is the tracker holding up?" Felicty asked, she had found herself perched next to Barry's Flash outfit with everyone else was either gathered around a computer or on their phones.

"The tracker seems to be doing well. It hasn't had any interferences yet but soon, we should be able to figure out where Zoom.. I mean Jay, _crap _I mean Hunter is" Jesse explained, sighing and sinking further into her seat, this was all too much for everyone.

"We'll get him. For Barry" Thea added, remembering that was the entire point for finding Zoom. They were doing it so Barry could be human, something no-one had any recollection of from when he last showed he was a human being.

"Well. It's almost time to get ready, I'm going to head back to the hotel and start to get my emotions in tact" Felicty said, waving to everyone and left.

"Let's do this. So Barry can finally mourn in peace" Joe said, walking out of the room with everyone following in tow.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

It was now the time of the funeral. Barry was dressed in his back suit whilst everyone else was in either dark grey or space grey.

They were all piled at the cemetery, standing around the grave stone whilst it poured down with rain, what a way to sum up the mood. Barry could feel no tears. Neither could Oliver. Everyone else, they were showing their tears with no care, it was truly upsetting and the way he was killed was cruel.

As the coffin was lowered into the pit, Barry felt suddenly overwhelmed. He knew that the impossible was now possible so what if his father came back? He could be a zombie? I mean, they've faced Tony Woodword as a zombie so it wasn't completely insane to believe that.

The ceremony ended and soon people were starting to leave, people much like his dad's parents and their friends and family. Soon, only Team Arrow and Team Flash remained, all standing in complete silence.

"Barry.. it's getting late. We should go" Joe started, approaching Barry who was kneeling next to the now filled in ground.

Nodding, Barry stood up and turned towards the group, not meeting anyone's gaze. He folded his arms and let Joe guide him towards the car, everyone following shortly afterwards.

"I really hope the light from behind his eyes returns.. I can't take staring into nothing anymore" Iris admitted to everyone and then quickened her pace to catch up with her father and current love interest.

Everyone was silent after hearing what Iris just said. It hurt them in more ways then one hearing that, the one person who's laugh and smile could light up a thousand rooms had lost the one thing that kept everyone going.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

Everyone had returned back to Joe's for an after-funeral meal but no-one was particularly hungry, especially Barry who was standing in the dining room with his head staring out of the window.

"Barry.. you need to eat something" Wally said, with a plate full of food in his hand for Barry.

"I'm not hungry, but thanks" Barry replied, turning to face Wally.

"I just want to say I'm sorry," Wally breathed, "I'm sorry I called you a coward when that shark attacked our house, I'm sorry for not being nicer and thank you, for saving my life"

Nodding, Barry smiled and welcomed Wally into his arms, which he did reciprocate and that made the pair share a small laugh. Everyone watched the exchange, happy to see a little ray of happiness in Barry's form, at least someone brought that to him.

"Guys, we need to make a plan to stop _Zoom_" Barry said, his voice showing a lot of disgust over the name. He knew that he could take Harrison Wells, he also knew that they didn't know that he was even alive so he remained silent about that— they didn't need to worry about that.

"The man can crack open breaches to Earth-2, I mean if he can do that then what else can he do that we don't know about?" Cisco said, sulking in his chair.

"Right after he killed my father" Barry paused, trying to keep his emotions in check, " he told me I was almost ready, all I needed to do was to channel my anger"

"Almost ready for what?" Iris asked, staring directly at Barry who was just as confused as everyone else at what Zoom had said.

Barry shrugged, "I dunno"

"Yep, classic psychopaths. Why can't they just say what they want to do?" Cisco questioned, grumbling about how it would make their lives much easier to know that stuff in advance.

"We also need to find out why I keep on vibing Earth-2 being ripped to shreads" Cisco admitted, making Diggle, Thea and Felicty look at him.

"Seriously?" Joe questioned, pointing a finger at Cisco who just nodded.

"It's like I'm watching Transformers in 4-D but like 10x more realistic. And with much better acting." Cisco admitted, not caring about how he just dissed Transformers.

"Look, if you can vibe the future, we need to stop Zoom before that can happen" Joe added, staring directly at Cisco, Oliver nodded, agreeing that they needed to find Zoom and stop it before that happens.

"I'm gonna get some air, alright?" Barry said, leaving them all to have their concerned looks. It was all just too much, yes, he did start the conversation but clearly it wasn't very fun for him.

When the door shut, Joe turned to Iris, he knew they had a thing now and he knew that she'd be able to talk to him.

"I got this" She said, leaving the room.

She fount Barry sitting on the steps of the porch, staring directly forward into the street. Iris watched his head turn to face her, clearly it startled him hearing the door open.

Iris sat next to him, enjoying the silence they were suffocating in. It felt nice. It felt _peaceful_. It really felt _nice _to them both.

"When I was in the Speed Force," Barry started, gaining Iris' attention, "I felt like, I'd finally come to grips with her death. With not saving her."

He took a deep breath, readying himself for the emotions that were threatening to spill.

"And then, the moment where I've finally gotten to a place where I can move on. My father's taken from me" Barry's voiced wavered from the thought of crying in front of Iris, he had already done that and besides, he didn't want to show any more emotions in front of her.

"How am I ever supposed to find peace with that?" He asked, staring at Iris through wet, glassy eyes. His voice made Iris' heart ache, he had seen so much darkness, he had never pleaded for anything but now, here he was pleading for peace in front of the girl who was slowly falling in love with him.

"I don't know, Barry." She said, staring into his eyes, which were still hollow from the lack of the spark behind them, "but you're gonna have to find a way to do that, or it's gonna tear you apart."

Barry turned his head, he couldn't look at Iris without feeling the need of breaking down. The walls which he had built up for the funeral were coming down, they were cracking underneath the pressure.

"I just miss him so much already" Barry admitted, still not bothering to return his gaze to Iris.

Instead of saying something, she reached her hand out which he gladly took. They sat there back in their suffocating silence with each other, their hands linked and their thoughts ceasing to exist about how to stop Zoom. This was the peace Barry was talking about. This was the peace he was struggling to find.

The peace was short-lived, however, when a blur of blue lightning went zooming past Barry's house, with a crimson red one trailing not that far behind.

"Zoom" Barry said, letting go of Iris' hand and chasing after the two murderers himself.

"Barry!" Iris called, hoping that he would be back soon.


	8. Chapter8

Barry could feel the electricity bubbling inside him, it made his anger sky rocket, knowing that the same _nice _feeling that both Eobard and Hunter was feeling made it that much sickening about what they both did.

Suddenly, Hunter cane to an abrupt stop, causing both Barry and Eobard to burn holes into the bottom of their shoes.

Hunter turned his head but not his whole body to Barry, "bad time, Flash?" He asked, he sounded so _proud _and not at all feeling remorse.

Barry just stood there and took a deep breath, Eobard doing the same thing but keeping a watchful eye on the Scarlet Speedster.

"Thought I'd give you some time to mourn" Hunter added, this time facing his whole body towards Barry, who was trying not to unleash the anger he had building inside of him.

"This ends now!" Barry seethed through a clenched jaw.

"Not yet, there's always more to take, _Allen_" Eobard said, moving to finally stand next to most likely the mastermind behind everything.

"Your both gonna stay away from them" Barry threatened, trying to keep his anger from erupting.

"Well, that's completely up to you" Hunter said simply, not showing any emotion.

"What?" Barry asked, confused on what he meant by that.

"When we first met, I told you that Zoom needed to be the best. You just never realised that I was talking about myself" Hunter said, turning to Eobard.

"And at Christmas when I told you we'd be fighting for years. Here we are, fighting once again, _Allen_" Eobard added, making Barry shoot a glance that probably would've killed him if glances could ya know like actually kill people.

"Is that what this is about?" Barry's voice was cracking from the anger and the sadness he was feeling.

"A race, Barry! To see who's the fastest man alive!" Hunter exclaimed, confusing Eobard because he didn't see where he would fit into any of this.

"Well, what am I supposed to do then?" He questioned, flashing his red eyes.

"I'll fill you in when the kid's not around" Hunter replied, laughing maniacally at Barry who was watching the whole scene with pleading eyes.

"I'm not racing you!" Barry managed to say, clenching and un-clenching his fists from rage. He just wanted to wipe that smirk straight off of Hunter's face.

"I'll be waiting, I'd take up the offer if I were you. I mean, I heard that you had a sketchy past Mr. Sebastian Smythe.." Hunter added, watching Barry make his eyes go wide from fear.

"Now, if you don't want any of your past to get merged with your present, I'd suggest you get that movie fanatic of yours to vibe me when you agree to race" Hunter growled, speeding off with Eobard hot on his trail.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

The moment Barry sped off after Zoom and whoever had the red trail, she ran inside and informed everyone.

"Zoom just sped by. Barry's gone after him, Hunter's not working alone.." Iris breathed, feeling her father's warm hands against her cold shoulders.

"Thawne" Oliver muttered, catching Iris' attention on accident.

"Thawne? What about Eddie?" She questioned, immediately thinking of her ex-boyfriend.

"Not Eddie.. Eobard" Felicity filled in the blanks, she remembered the day Team Arrow had been called by a distressed Barry about the recent discovery of the betrayal with Dr. Wells.

"He's-he's alive?" Thea asked, she had heard through Oliver about what had happened between Barry and Eobard, about how he went back in time but didn't end up saving his mom and how Eddie has sacrificed himself so Barry wouldn't die.

"He looked just as shocked as both Barry and I were when Hunter tried to kill Jay" Oliver admitted, shuddering slightly at the thought.

"Who's Eobard Thawne?" Both Jesse and Wally asked, their curiosity about this mysterious man killing them.

"Eobard Thawne killed Barry's mother 14 years ago" Joe muttered quietly, feeling Iris tense from underneath his hands.

"Eobard Thawne learnt Barry's name. He's from the future. In an attempt to try and kill Barry, Barry's future self followed him back in time and saved his younger self. Only for Eobard to stab his mother in the heart" Iris explained, wiping the tears that slid down her face.

The room was lapped in silence, which only lasted 2 seconds because an out of breath Barry came barging in, he seemed _pissed_.

"Hunter challenged me to a race. To see who's better" he simply said, running his hands stressfully through his hair.

"What did Thawne want?" Oliver asked, walking towards Barry.

"He-he never wanted anything. H-Hunter is gonna give him something to do apparently" Barry breathed, pressing the palms of his hands into his bent knees, trying to bring more oxygen into his system.

"Barry, take deep breaths. You'll feel better. I know you're not having a panic attack but you need to take deep breaths for me" Caitlin said, half rushing- half normally walking over to Barry who was still having an issue with breathing.

"Let's-let's just go to STAR Labs to figure out what to do" he said, lifting his head up to realise that everything was starting to spin. Maybe he really did need to take some deep breaths.

He could feel himself start to sway a bit and soon felt some strong hands wrap around his shoulders; it was Oliver.

"Easy. We got you, when you can breathe normally then we'll take you back to STAR. I've never seen you this winded before" Oliver said, but to Barry it felt like an echo from somewhere far away.

"Barry?" Diggle asked, noticing how pale he was. Usually, he was quite pale but right now, he was more pale then the whitest sheet of paper.

Barry's vision was swimming, he could see back dots start to fill his vision and tried to blink them away but it never happened, instead they only multiplied. He didn't know whether or not it was from the amount of cuts he did and the blood loss that followed it from the fact that he didn't eat but he felt oddly lethargic.

"Barry!" He heard everyone call before he was welcomed into the darkness.

Oliver felt all of Barry's weight start to shift and he knew what had happened, Barry had passed out due to a multitude of reasons;

•blood loss

•exhaustion

•not eating enough

•not breathing properly

"Barry!" Everyone screamed as they watched Barry fall limp in Oliver's arms and how his eyes had shut.

"Stay with us, Bar" Caitlin said, standing next to Oliver who was struggling to keep Barry upright.

"Lean him against you and kneel on the floor. It'll take some of his weight off of you" Caitlin instructed towards Oliver whilst everyone else remained silent, letting the doctor work her magic.

Oliver did exactly as what Caitlin said and leaned Barry against him and the floor. Whilst everyone else remained behind the couch, Cisco had ran over to help them both and to try and help keep Barry awake.

"We might have to take him back to STAR anyway. He could be in hypoglycaemic shock due to not eating enough" Caitlin informed everyone.

"Um Cait.." Cisco started, annoying the doctor who was currently trying to bring Barry back to some sort of consciousness.

"What, Cisco?" She snapped back, feeling guilty afterwards for snapping at him.

"His breathing. It's still really laboured" Cisco pointed out, concerning everyone. Usually, Barry's breathing would've evened out by now but it hadn't and it concerned Joe, Iris, Cisco and Caitlin more.

"He might've reached a new level of exhaustion. He hasn't exactly been having the best sleeping pattern right now" Caitlin added, putting her hand through the speedster's hair and moving it out of his face.

"Caitlin.. check his arms out first" Oliver whispered to Caitlin but knew everyone else had caught on to what he said because they all were staring at each other with wide eyes; would Barry seriously turn back towards self-harm?

Nodding, Caitlin took a shaky arm and started to pull Barry's sleeve back to reveal a line of cuts. Some deeper then others. Some still bleeding whilst others beginning to heal.

"We need to properly clean those up" Harry said, bringing everyone out of a little shock. Never in a million years would they think Bartholomew Henry Allen (well if they knew about his alter ego as Sebastian Smythe then that would've been added) would turn to doing that.

Barry's hearing had started to return partially. He could hear snippets of random conversations but he only really heard one more clearly, he couldn't pinpoint their names but he knew that he felt safe with them.

Oliver watched as Barry started to stir against his hold. It had been a good 5-10 minutes since he had collapsed and everyone had been waiting patiently for him to wake up.

"Guys, I think he's waking up" Cisco said aloud, making everyone stand up from their seats, usually they would've all walked over but considering there were a lot of them they didn't want to crowd around him.

"Barry, can you hear me?" Caitlin asked, crouching down to Barry's head. He wasn't exactly being responsive but he wasn't being unresponsive at the same time, he still wasn't aware of where he was though.

"Cait.." he mumbled, turning his head to face her but kept his eyes shut, he still felt really lightheaded and dizzy.

"You collapsed on Oliver, buddy, that's what happened so you didn't have to ask" Diggle informed Barry, making the speedster nod. It had been a long ass night for Team Flash, whilst Oliver and Felicity remained at the West Residence, Thea and Diggle headed back to their hotel rooms for a much needed rest.

"Don't try and get up just yet, Bar" Oliver started, seeing how Barry attempted to sit up but was pushed back down by Caitlin.

"You need sleep. You're staying where you are until tomorrow morning and then we'll go to STAR Labs and figure out the motive behind Hunter's plan" Felicity spoke in such a controlling matter that even Oliver wanted to oblige to what she said. She had never been that commanding before.

Nodding, Barry's blur orbs were suddenly covered by his heavy eye lids, which blocked off the rest of the world to him. Content with Barry's current state, Felicity and Oliver decided to head back to the hotel and inform Thea and Diggle. Whilst Felicity said her farewell to everyone else, Oliver took the time to put a hand through Barry's hair and then rest it on his forehead.

"You'll get through this. One way or another you will get through this" Oliver's voice held his usual demanding and controlling way but this time it was barely above a whisper.

"Call us if anything else happens" Oliver explained, being pulled into a hug by Joe.

"Thank you, for helping my son" Joe said, although all that was happening was that they were turning in for the night, it still felt like it would be the last time they saw each other until the next time they decided to come to Central City.

Oliver smiled, nodding his head at Joe and grabbed Felicity's hand, signalling that he was ready to leave. Soon, they were on their way back to the hotel. What a day this turned into.


	9. Chapter9

Singh sighed as he got off of the phone with the police department in Westerville, Ohio. Apparently there were a series of robberies and break-ins that they needed more men.

His initial instinct was to call Joe and explain everything to him but then he remembered Barry. The poor kid had only lost his father three days ago. Still, he really wanted to send Joe out to Ohio for the case but then a thought crossed his mind; _'what if I sent the best CSI I have as well?_' Of course Barry would have some thoughts about it considering everything with his father but maybe some time away could help him gather his thoughts.

As much as he didn't want to do this, he picked his phone back up, ready to disturb whatever sleep Joe was most likely getting.

"_Detective West_" Joe answered, formal as always.

"Joe, it's Singh. I have a case and I'm sending you and Barry to Westerville, Ohio. I am fully understanding if Barry isn't totally up for the idea but just talk to him about it" Singh said, ending the call before Joe got a word in.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

It had been an hour since Oliver and Felicity had left and everyone except Barry were still awake. No-one had the heart to wake him up and move him into his room for the night; he seemed too peaceful.

They were all watching a lousy sitcom on the TV when Joe's phone interrupted the silence they were enjoying. Usually, he would've moved to answer the phone but he had Barry resting on him so he didn't want to wake the sleeping speedster.

"Detective West" Joe answered, knowing it was the Captain's number.

Whilst Captain was explaining it all to Joe, everyone played off like the phone call wasn't even happening and besides, they were all too tired to care. When Joe pried the phone away from his ear, he turned to Iris who was curious as to why he was getting a call from the station; she knew that both him and Barry were taking time off due to well..

"How does everyone feel about a little road trip to Ohio?" He asked loudly but cautious of the man in his lap.

"Why are you asking?" Cisco asked, pausing the show which slightly annoyed everyone.

"Because, Singh wants Barry and myself to go to Ohio for a series of robberies and break-ins. He wants Barry considering he's the best CSI there is" Joe said.

Nodding, everyone looked at one another, everyone's gaze ending up on Iris who was looking at Barry. "Only if Barry wants to" she piped up, grabbing one of his hands with her own.

"Of course" Joe replied.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

It was a peaceful afternoon in Westerville, Ohio. For Stacey Smythe, life seemed perfect. She had the perfect parents, the perfect house and was one of the most popular girls in her school, the only thing missing was her _cousin_; Barry. She remembered the day as if it were yesterday when she fount out about Henry's passing, her initial reaction was to immediately go and FaceTime Barry so he could express everything he was feeling but her father stopped her, explaining that Barry was in shock and that he would be stuck in shock until most likely the next day.

It had been three years since she last day Barry, or should she say _Sebastian_? I mean, it was his legal alias back in Ohio. She missed him deeply, everyone knew that; especially Bas' best friends from Ohio. Thad believed Stacey to be his little sister as did Wes whilst the others (Niff, Trent and a certain nameless Clarington) were just mere acquaintances to her.

"Hey, Stace!" Thad yelled, although Barry had packed his bags up and left for Central City, her father still let Thad walk around the house however he pleased, of course as long as he never broke anything.

"Hey Thad" her voice wavered, she hadn't fully comprehended learning of her 'brother's' father's death and she was struggling, even if Henry was her father's brother it hadn't hit her until just then.

**(Okay: in my story I'm making Henry brother's with Mr Smythe because why the hell not and so Nora's mom's maiden name is Garrick instead of it being Henry's)**

"Stace, what's wrong?" Thad begged, dragging Stacey to the closest staircase in the house.

"It's-it's nothing" she stuttered, trying to discreetly rid her eyes of the moisture building up in them.

"_Stacey_" Thad's voice was demanding. He was demanding to know what was troubling his little sister. But even that, she just shrugged him off and walked herself upstairs, away from him.

Thad pulled his phone out of his pocket, instantly opening the group chat that had been made once the Warblers and New Direction's glee clubs' had been merged.

_**Thad **something up with Stace. Meet at Lima Bean in 10_

_**Wes** is she okay? Should we tell Bas?_

_**Kurt **it's not like that meerkat is going to reply anytime soon_

_**Finn** who's Stace?_

_**Blaine ** 'Stace' is short for 'Stacey' who is Seb's sister_

_**Santana **can we just ask Twink already? I mean since he's her older brother then surely he should know right?_

_**Brittany **I thought Sebby moved to Central City? Is he back in Ohio?_

_**Nick **what's this about Seb being back in Ohio?_

_**Trent** Seb's back?!_

_**Thad **no for Christ's sake! But something could be up with him then_

_**Jeff **what have we missed?_

_**Sam **just read up, Jeffy_

_**Cooper **why am I in this chat again, Blaine?_

_**Blaine **because you need more friends_

_**Cooper **hmm okay.._

Thad rolled his eyes at the way his friends acted, to think, in a sorta insensitive way if Dave Karofsky never _attempted _anything then no-one's eyes would've widened at the bullying being done and so as much as they were deeply guilty for what had happened they were glad that they finally opened their eyes to the world outside of themselves.

_**Thad **make sure you all get your asses to Lima Bean in 8 mins. Idc how far it is I am a worried guy about my best friend's sister so hurry the fuck up_

Everyone knew when Thad was upset they were to oblige to what he said and let him just control everything until he gets his thoughts back in control.

He stood up and ran to his car, he needed to help Stacey and that's exactly what he was going to do.

**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH **

Barry woke up to find himself in his _foster father's _arms. Somehow, his nightmares had been kept well away whilst being in Joe's arms and a small smile appeared on the speedster's face.

"Good morning, Bear" Joe said, somehow not tired after the night last night.

"Mornin'" Barry croaked out, snuggling deeper into the protective arms around him.

"I need to talk to you about something" Joe started, cutting directly to the chase, "how would you feel if we went to Westerville, Ohio to help with the robberies?"


	10. Author’sNote

I will be making a sequel to this even if I don't get any reviews or anything from all of you. I want to make this sequel for myself and any others who want to read it so enjoy. Also, I have no clue about anything in glee, I'm just taking my chances with things I've read that I can make something semi-decent.

I might name the book;

"Unsteady" or "See you again" but you won't know until the first chapter is published.


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